Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged.
I haven't done a Me Meme in awhile and thought I'd bring this one over to the Wedding Blog because ...
Fact #1: Our wedding is less than 40 days away. Geez, after typing that out, it's a bit difficult to think of anything else. Because of the hyperventilating.
Fact #2: My dating history up till Scott included two great loves, one big head-scratcher, a fling who still makes me smile, a mama's boy, a boy with daddy issues, and a boy I loved from afar. I had a Big, an Aidan, and even a Berger. Scott defies labels - he is and has been, since the day we met, who he is. Nothing less, no one else.
Fact #3: For the first four months, I never once thought we would date seriously, let alone get married.
Fact #4: I like the chewiness of fondant.
Fact #5: When I think about Wedding Day, I feel giddy, like a six-year-old getting ready for a play or a sixteen-year-old getting ready for prom. But when I think about marriage, I feel serene and ... 30.
Fact #6: I love our proposal story.
Fact #7: The only other person in my life I ever would have married was smart enough not to propose.
Fact #8: Our bridal party is 12 large, plus us. That is one hell of a head table.
Fact #9: I know nothing about my wedding band. As in, has it been ordered? I don't know. What does it look like? I don't know. When do we pick it up? I don't know. How much did/will it cost? I don't know. Will I have one on Wedding Day? I don't know.
Fact #10: I am more excited to see Scott in formalwear than I am to see my wedding band.
Fact #11: I can't remember what my gown looks like.
Fact #12: Till we have kids, and I admit this is probably quite naive, I can't think of a single way married life is going to change us on the day-to-day. I've felt totally committed to him since '06, and we've lived together for about that long - so where do the differences come in? Well, the name change thing, yes. And maybe we will have nicer towels. :P
Fact #13: When we got engaged, I didn't want to have kids. Kona, Callie, and the 23 kids I see all day 5 days a week were more than enough to think about.
Fact #14: He wants to live in a house, and I love condo living.
Fact #15: Engaged Encounter was an awesome investment. Possibly the best $300 we've ever spent.
Fact #16: We've made each other healthier, not by doing things for each other (teach a man to fish ...) but by showing each other the best parts of ourselves, and then the worst parts, and meeting every challenge with an open heart.
If you read this blog, tag - you're it.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
the plunge
Just before waking up, I dreamed it was Wedding Day. We were in a different hotel, and the layout was all different from what we'd discussed, but none of it fazed me. I was happy.
Then I realized that in all the hustle and bustle of preparations, I had not made arrangements to pick up my gown. I freaked out and ran around till I found my bil, Jeff, who is IRL a cool bil but very easily annoyed, and somewhat sarcastic.
"Jeff! I never picked up my dress. You've got to help me!"
"What am I supposed to do?!"
"HELP ME! Go to the dress shop and pick it up for me!"
It then also occurred to me that the bridesmaid dresses had not been distributed to the bridesmaids. (IRL, this is mostly not true.)
Jeff was still yawning with boredom over my dress problems, but he managed to say, "I'll call mom," referring to our MIL (well, his MIL, my MIL-to-be).
"WHAT?! She doesn't even drive!"
Jeff, already dialing MIL's number, seemed totally unwilling to help me out (Scott says I HAVE to tell Jeff the story of this dream; he seems to think Jeff would find it funny) so I had to concede that getting married in the dress I had on would not be such a bad thing.
I then realized that this was not the real wedding day at all, but some kind of rehearsal. I was very relieved, and I guess my brain was slowly waking up, because I also realized that I was dreaming. What did I decide to do with this realization? Not run up to someone I dislike and kick them in the shins. Not run to the buffet line and eat everything in sight. Instead, I hurled myself over the banister - from the fifth or so floor, all the way down to the lobby.
It did hurt, when I landed on my feet.
Symbolism: taking the plunge. Practice time is almost over. We are getting married. It's coming.
In the past few months, we have had some fights - some minor, a few major, and some downright stupid, but nothing we haven't walked away from intact or even stronger. My happiness in the dream was real. (Let's just hope I remember to pick up my dress.)
Then I realized that in all the hustle and bustle of preparations, I had not made arrangements to pick up my gown. I freaked out and ran around till I found my bil, Jeff, who is IRL a cool bil but very easily annoyed, and somewhat sarcastic.
"Jeff! I never picked up my dress. You've got to help me!"
"What am I supposed to do?!"
"HELP ME! Go to the dress shop and pick it up for me!"
It then also occurred to me that the bridesmaid dresses had not been distributed to the bridesmaids. (IRL, this is mostly not true.)
Jeff was still yawning with boredom over my dress problems, but he managed to say, "I'll call mom," referring to our MIL (well, his MIL, my MIL-to-be).
"WHAT?! She doesn't even drive!"
Jeff, already dialing MIL's number, seemed totally unwilling to help me out (Scott says I HAVE to tell Jeff the story of this dream; he seems to think Jeff would find it funny) so I had to concede that getting married in the dress I had on would not be such a bad thing.
I then realized that this was not the real wedding day at all, but some kind of rehearsal. I was very relieved, and I guess my brain was slowly waking up, because I also realized that I was dreaming. What did I decide to do with this realization? Not run up to someone I dislike and kick them in the shins. Not run to the buffet line and eat everything in sight. Instead, I hurled myself over the banister - from the fifth or so floor, all the way down to the lobby.
It did hurt, when I landed on my feet.
Symbolism: taking the plunge. Practice time is almost over. We are getting married. It's coming.
In the past few months, we have had some fights - some minor, a few major, and some downright stupid, but nothing we haven't walked away from intact or even stronger. My happiness in the dream was real. (Let's just hope I remember to pick up my dress.)
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
so lie
That is what the kids say to each other when one of them has told an untruth.
"Ho! So lie!"
Gotta love living in the islands.
Anyway, I lied, I am not shutting up. I am not mortally opposed to flowers, but I have *just* stumbled upon something much better than the flowers and much better than my original idea. It requires a lot of assembly, though. (I used to be mortally opposed to that, but as they say, you only get married once, so we might as well make the most of the experience.)
I am excited. The small stress ball has unraveled, and I have clear enough vision now to pick at the big one and start knitting something useful.
Terrible metaphors, I know. Too excited to fix.
;)
"Ho! So lie!"
Gotta love living in the islands.
Anyway, I lied, I am not shutting up. I am not mortally opposed to flowers, but I have *just* stumbled upon something much better than the flowers and much better than my original idea. It requires a lot of assembly, though. (I used to be mortally opposed to that, but as they say, you only get married once, so we might as well make the most of the experience.)
I am excited. The small stress ball has unraveled, and I have clear enough vision now to pick at the big one and start knitting something useful.
Terrible metaphors, I know. Too excited to fix.
;)
Friday, November 28, 2008
this sucks
Wedding: scheduled.
Party: planned.
Why the eff I'm stressing out on the details is beyond me.
Whether we have lobster or buffalo wings, taffeta or tulle, heavenly centerpieces or Wal*Mart Delite, the outcome is the same. We are not on Weddings of a Lifetime, no one's going to give us any awards for Having Inspired Favors or for Sticking To Our Theme, so why are we having grim lunchtime discussions about the diameter of our centerpieces? Is it because we're getting caught up in it like we said we wouldn't, or because we really do care a teeny tiny bit and have only to admit it so that we can get on with things?
I say let's throw the centerpieces, favors, and theme out the window, and go back to letting the rare weekday lunch together be an actual treat rather than a drudge.
Party: planned.
Why the eff I'm stressing out on the details is beyond me.
Whether we have lobster or buffalo wings, taffeta or tulle, heavenly centerpieces or Wal*Mart Delite, the outcome is the same. We are not on Weddings of a Lifetime, no one's going to give us any awards for Having Inspired Favors or for Sticking To Our Theme, so why are we having grim lunchtime discussions about the diameter of our centerpieces? Is it because we're getting caught up in it like we said we wouldn't, or because we really do care a teeny tiny bit and have only to admit it so that we can get on with things?
I say let's throw the centerpieces, favors, and theme out the window, and go back to letting the rare weekday lunch together be an actual treat rather than a drudge.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
ah, togetherness
Dunno if we'd survive. But we did survive our second meeting with Fr. G! Actually, it was only the FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study) "test" so as soon as we were done with our Scantron bubbles, we were outta there.
The FOCCUS is designed quite ingeniously to point out differences and encourage discussion between a couple in areas such as finances, child-rearing, sex (yeah, maybe reverse those last two), partner roles in marriage, spirituality, etc. There are "special" sections for interfaith couples (us), remarrying couples, and cohabiting couples (us again), meaning 20-something additional questions for us.
There were easy-peasy q's ("Do you feel that your future spouse has too few hobbies/interests separate from yours?"), moderate q's ("Are you concerned that past experiences will shape your marriage in a negative way?"), gigglers ("For cohabitating couples: Do you feel that living with your future spouse puts pressure on you to provide sex on demand?"), and two or three that require very focused discussion ("Are you in agreement regarding the husband and wife roles each of you expects of the other in the marriage relationship?") <-- I think so ... in fact for the life of me I cannot start to guess how life after marriage will be different from life as we know it now, at least until we start discussing the big C. One of my good friends, in the same situation as me (lived w/her man for several years before tying the knot) has cryptically said that it is, in some ways, significantly different, but we have yet to sit down for that conversation.
I know it's more than who's going to cook and who's going to clean. (Right now, the answer for both of those questions is mostly "Neither of us." Srsly, don't come over.) But we've got a pretty good groove going. I know there are times my clutter really irritates him, but I know he appreciates the efforts I make to control it. And vice versa regarding the habits he has that irritate me. We share what needs to be done, although we never did make a chore chart, and I did put my foot down on walking the dog at night - he is to do it - but I am not unreasonable. When he's sick or way too tired (rarely), I'll take the dog out. These are fine points that I previously would have found too stupid to even mention, but as it turns out, these fine and stupid points really can become points of contention, and we all know what happens when too many of those get swept under the rug. They don't stay there for long.
Our next session with Fr. G is to go over our answers to the 170 questions. Better pack some coffee methinks.
The FOCCUS is designed quite ingeniously to point out differences and encourage discussion between a couple in areas such as finances, child-rearing, sex (yeah, maybe reverse those last two), partner roles in marriage, spirituality, etc. There are "special" sections for interfaith couples (us), remarrying couples, and cohabiting couples (us again), meaning 20-something additional questions for us.
There were easy-peasy q's ("Do you feel that your future spouse has too few hobbies/interests separate from yours?"), moderate q's ("Are you concerned that past experiences will shape your marriage in a negative way?"), gigglers ("For cohabitating couples: Do you feel that living with your future spouse puts pressure on you to provide sex on demand?"), and two or three that require very focused discussion ("Are you in agreement regarding the husband and wife roles each of you expects of the other in the marriage relationship?") <-- I think so ... in fact for the life of me I cannot start to guess how life after marriage will be different from life as we know it now, at least until we start discussing the big C. One of my good friends, in the same situation as me (lived w/her man for several years before tying the knot) has cryptically said that it is, in some ways, significantly different, but we have yet to sit down for that conversation.
I know it's more than who's going to cook and who's going to clean. (Right now, the answer for both of those questions is mostly "Neither of us." Srsly, don't come over.) But we've got a pretty good groove going. I know there are times my clutter really irritates him, but I know he appreciates the efforts I make to control it. And vice versa regarding the habits he has that irritate me. We share what needs to be done, although we never did make a chore chart, and I did put my foot down on walking the dog at night - he is to do it - but I am not unreasonable. When he's sick or way too tired (rarely), I'll take the dog out. These are fine points that I previously would have found too stupid to even mention, but as it turns out, these fine and stupid points really can become points of contention, and we all know what happens when too many of those get swept under the rug. They don't stay there for long.
Our next session with Fr. G is to go over our answers to the 170 questions. Better pack some coffee methinks.
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